Make the right decisions for yourself! It helps to have these people in your life. It can be tough to find all these people at once.
1. A Mentor is someone with more experience than you, who can guide you in life or in your career. Seek their advice and counsel about your work/career path. It may not be easy to find a mentor, because successful people are often busy with work and personal life. So when you find your Mentor, appreciate them. Do something in return for them if you can. You may need to speak with a few different ones before you find your mentor. One mentor can be enough but 2 would be great!
2. Have 1-2 friends or peer confidantes who can give you accurate feedback. Sometimes, we don’t know how we’re coming across to others. We may be abrasive, demanding, reactive or obnoxious and not be aware of it. Allow these friends to “call you out” and give you their “two cents” of tough love. You don’t need to run your intimate ideas or feelings by any odd acquaintance though. Choose your 1-2 peer confidantes wisely. Appreciate your friends for this, it’s a skill to listen with empathy and understanding. It’s a skill to put yourself aside and listen to another in an unbiased way. You can tell a friend some secrets you would never tell a mentor or family member. They may be your confidantes for life, or for a period of time.
3. Talk to your parents or your family. This is where we receive love for the first time in our lives. It’s our first relationship during our formative years; when our personality is forming. You may not agree with your parents or family members. They may be from a different generation thus have difficulty relating to you. Even if your family doesn’t understand you, it shows you where you came from. On a positive note, a mother or father’s genuine intuition can save you from a wrong decision in your life. If you have that, then consider yourself blessed and show appreciation to your parents and family.
4. A therapist is good when your mentor, friends and family may be overwhelmed with your issues. Have you seen when you are basically having a therapy session with your mentor or friend? It usually turns out this way because our life decisions are linked to our emotional states. However, that’s the purpose of the therapist. If they’re good, they can give you objective unbiased feedback. They can provide emotional support too. Then you can present a more organized and digestible question to your mentor, friend or family. So if your insecurities are too great, you should talk to a therapist.
5. Meditation. You are your own boss in making the correct decision for yourself. Don’t focus on making the right decision too quickly because this usually takes time. Do this work of receiving feedback from the people above; friends, family, mentors and therapist. Do not be an island, do not isolate yourself. That’s the best way to drown in your grandiose or paranoid delusions. You don’t have to be crazy to have these delusions, everyone has this experience as well to an extent. Please don’t just ruminate and worry about what contrary feedback you’ve received, that might drive you mad, dive into mediation instead. Focus on the process above. Allow the conversations to marinate in your mind. Tap into that level of consciousness that is more still, calm and silent so the answers will reveal themselves to you. When times are especially tough and when you don’t have any of the people above, return to that silence within yourself and meditate. In this stillness, it is possible to be honest with ourselves. We can see our limitations and transcend them. We can let go of bad ideas we’ve been holding on to. That is meditation, a lifelong work in progress. It is easier said than done … so please get started or get back to your meditation journey again.
In conclusion, please don’t be hard on yourself if you don’t have all these people in your life at once. If you can’t afford a therapist or if you’re not a master of meditation. This is a lifelong process. It will come in time if you are focused, dedicated and get some rest from time to time.
Original slide and writing by @docdattamd